I don't know if there is anything new for me  to write about my friend, mentor, and hero Jon Faddis, but I still feel the urge to pay respect to one of the greatest trumpeters ever. 

Jon has commanded the respect of everyone that has ever played this music (well except one person, but I'll leave that between me and Jon. Jon knows how I feel. LOL). I'll name just a few names of who he has played with but believe me, the list is infinitely longer than anyone could imagine, maybe even to Jon because I've played him things he has no recollection of which means, he has been a little busy the past 50 plus years. 

Duke Ellington, Count Basie, Charles Mingus, Dizzy Gillespie, Thad Jones, Mel Lewis, Lionel Hampton, Roy Eldridge, Eubie Blake, Jimmy Heath, James Moody, Frank Wess, Phil Woods, George Benson, Lalo Schifrin, Ron Carter, Aretha Franklin, Grover Washington, Oscar Peterson, and literały could go on for days. 

I was introduced to Jon's music by my late friend Don Gallagher who would take his Dad's albums and give them to me. He was in HS in my Dad's HS band and I was in middle school at the time. One album was Jousts the trumpet kings on Pablo. I always loved those Pablo albums because of the black and white picture covers. I don't know, for me it kind of made them larger than life. Roy Eldridge, Dizzy, Clark Terry, Sweets, and Jon! Not to shabby of a lineup accompanied by Oscar Peterson. Despite not maybe hearing it YET in my playing, it is so much a part of my DNA and the way I hear the music. 

I would meet everyone on that album except Sweets who is a main influence. I got to hear him but not meet him. With Jon, that person who I stared at the LP cover while listening to the record, when I was a kid, not only did I get to hear him play live (which I'm sure is in the hundreds of times), but I got to take some lessons with him, then because of his generosity and I have to think him doing for me and thousands of other, what Dizzy did for him, I have shared the stage for a number multiple times across the country which the honor is never lost on me, but then had the privilege to have him on one of my recordings, and most of all call him friend. 

We have done a lot of life together! I've gotten to know his whole family. I stayed with him Mom out in NV before her passing, I get to see his sister in the Chicago area when Jon is there, I was with him the day he proposed to his wife (or at least got the ring LOL) I attended his wedding, I attended his Father's funeral, He came to my 50th birthday party. He was so faithful to me through Talia's passing. He has bought me so many albums when together record shopping saying you need to know this one.... bought many bacon cheeseburgers for me lol, and just introduced me to so many of the masters in this music and so many memorable moments 

I also get to see the side a lot of people never see. One of my spiritual heroes who I just saw, is Heidi Baker. Her theme for lack of better term is " Stop for the One"  showing the value of every single person. Jon has demonstrated this to me over and over throughout the years. People I didn't even see on the street walking, he will stop and spend 1/2 hour with. Buying gifts for complete strangers at an event to ensure they had a memorable time. These people have no idea who Jon is which is not important to Jon. Jon just wants to love on people! The countless lessons to kids. 

I cannot overstate how much I have learned from Jon about not only music but life. I play his trumpet model, I have his old case model, his old mouthpiece model, his black handkerchief lol, etc... 

I wish I demonstrated better the time invested in me. 

Much love to you Jon! I cannot thank you enough for all that you have done for me! Happy Birthday my friend. May God continue to bless you!

​Here is an interview and video bio I put together for work at MSU during covid. 

So the story goes.... I was staying at Jon's house and he wanted me to learn West End Blues. So I went upstairs to a bedroom and I was struggling so he kept having to help me from downstairs yelling up what I was messing up. He says if he didn't help me, he would have had a roommate for life! LOL (this is before Laurelyn) 

No matter where I go to see him now, he will many times call me up, even with no horn (he gives me his), and no warm up, and sometimes haven't played in a few days and has me play Louis Armstrong's West End Blues cold which is a very challenging trumpet call by Pops! I have never played it perfect for him yet and don't use any of those excuses. I am always grateful for the opportunity. Here are 3 of the times. My Birthday party, at The Blues Alley in Washington DC, and at Dizzy's in NYC. Now the Dizzys one, previous to the clip, is the most embarrassing moment of my life, I actually wondered if I'd ever play again after this. I kind of don't know what happened but it was a perfect storm that resulted in me sounding like a 5th grader in front of my hero at one of the prestigious jazz clubs in NYC. I really do have thin skin but you have to develop thick skin (especially being friends with Jon! LOL) I survived and have done much better  since but it was rough! I'm thankful he is patient with me. 

This is what it is supposed to sound like. 

If it seems like I've been posting a lot lately about Talia, I have! The anniversaries of the big 3 events all happen within a little over a month of each other. 

Her promotion to Heaven happened on June 10
Our Anniversary was July 1
and her birthday is today! July 23

I don't post for attention or sympathy. I don't like either! LOL  I just post to honor her.

I wanted to just post a couple of short antidotes that I think I have posted before but speak so clearly to her beautiful heart. I will never meet anyone as sweet as Talia, probably to a fault. God knew I needed sweet and that's exactly what I got. 

One little inside tidbit comes from the end of her life. From Day 1 of the cancer journey, she embraced it with such maturity, dignity, bravery, and really wanted to try and do things "right" if you will. Her mindset was amazing. I would do nothing medically in Lansing, because I had horrible experiences and the reputation was so awful. So we traveled an hour each time she needed something done to Grand Rapids, which included her chemo treatments every week. I introduced Talia to one of my all time favorite albums by Fred Hammond, "Free to Worship" . Talia would always say, throughout the journey that so many other people had it worse than her. One of her favorite songs on the album was "I won't complain",  so she wanted to listen to that each week on the way to chemo to put her in a good mindset. That is why I recorded a snippet of it on my tribute album to her. But it speaks to her attitude and beautiful heart and spirit. 
​

Here are the words: 
There's a praise that lives deep in my heart, And it says, 'Oh, Lord, I love You'
I am blessed when I think of Your goodness to me, It comforts me daily
But there are times in my life, When things don't work out right
And my burdens are heavy, And there's no joy inside
Put my eyes back on You, For You've always come through
And with this simple refrain, I will bless you, bless you, come

Lord You've been good to me, Made the way I could not see
Your love came in and lifted me, And I, I won't complain
Through the years, You've been there to dry my tears
There is not a closer friend than You

Oh, Lord, You have been so good to me, More than this world could ever be
I really wanna thank You, yeah, Lord, I won't complain

Lift my hands, give You praise, In the midst of each storm 'cause You are worthy
When life's sorrows and heartaches rush in, I will remember, You are still worthy

Let the words of my mouth leave no room for doubt
Because down through the years You've been faithful
And when I think it all through, oh Lord, it's been You
Who's been there all the time and I'm greatful, greatful

Lord, I know that You know what's best for me, Even when my weary eyes can't see
I really wanna thank You, Lord, I won't complain

Through it all, You've been there for me
Through every trial, every heartache, You've been there
Every tear that I've cried, Lord, You've been there
I'll lift my hands and I'll give You the praise through it all

Down through the years, every step that I'd to take
You've been there every time I've fallen
And You've been there to hold me tight though the grades of time
I'll lift my hands and I'll give You the praise, You've been good
You've been good, when I think of all You've done
It makes me wanna shout for joy and give You glory
There is no one like You, You've been so good, yeah
I'll lift my hands and I'll give You the praise and say
Thank You, thank You
I won't complain, all I'm gonna say is
Thank You, thank You

One of the pages from the tribute CD:

Another tidbit was Talia loved the group BTS! Of course I had no idea who they were but Talia loved their song "Dynamite" which I also did a little snippet of on the tribute project. I would have got a lot of brownie points if I had recorded that for her while she was here. LOL I asked her why she liked them so much, she said, because she saw an interview with them once and they said they just want their music to make people feel happy. Now to me, that's pretty cliche of any pop star but it almost speaks to Talia's naiveté if you will. 

I was always the one giving advice to Talia how to handle situations when she'd ask. She was always the one putting it into action, then calling me out when I wasn't following my own advice which I needed! LOL 

I added this part since my initial post. I had to include the tv show LOST in here. Talia was very good about trying to come into my world of jazz. I didn't have a very good attitude about coming into her world of Sci-Fi which I felt bad about. So she wanted to watch the tv show lost with me so even though it wasn't my type of thing I learned my lesson and was happy at first to do it! LOL I have to admit the first season was intriguing but as it kept going I kept getting more well... lost.. perfect name for that show. LOL We watched all 9 seasons. I watched the end episode and despite watching it, had no idea how it ended or what happened. LOL I was constantly joking with her that I will never get that time back etc... Again, I asked her why she liked it, and it basically stemmed from the first season, and this was a great point that I learned from also. You watch all these people that were brought together from a plane crash, and instantly start liking and disliking people, but as they would do the flashbacks, you got to see why some people were like they were behaving. So she was just like you see everyone has gone through something and it's not always apparent why they may be mean or something. Again so reflective of Talia's heart. This everyone dealing with something has been so true especially this year for me. Man, my heart just wants people to know how loved they are by God but we deal with so much in life! I'll scream it for both Talia and I! You are loved! Your life matters! God has a plan that the evil one tried to stop! Know you are loved!
​
I truly am happy Talia is in Heaven! I did such a deep dive into Heaven once she passed. I wanted to know where she was!  I watched all kind of NDE testimonies, read all kind of books, etc.. While we will never know the full extent, the commonalities of the testimonies are so similar, it's hard not to doubt much of what people have said is true and matches a little from what we know from the Bible. With how dark the world is and has been, which I think affected Talia a bit and just always wanted to combat it with her extreme kindness, Heaven is the perfect place for her. I'm so glad she made Jesus her savior! 

Of course I miss her. For me, it's the obvious things that I knew but not to the extent of  that are huge now. Yes, she was my best friend, but you don't realize what that means until she is gone. So many things I could say about that ! Also, the fact that she chose me as her husband and to love, choose, and commit to me, I'm finding is a very special thing which again I knew, but that fact continues to be reinforced every day to me since she went to Heaven. 

I grieved well! I had a lot of time of introspection and sorrow, but also a lot of fellowship! I was loved so well and continue to be by so many ! I am so blessed. Sure, it's sad that I finally found the one I was planning on spending the rest of my days with and I loved being married to her, but it was cut very short. It can be frustrating with the position I'm in now, but I am a completely different person having gone through this. God has taught me so much. I do wish that she would have been able to be the recipient of some of the more mature me traits, but I think she is doing just fine! LOL

I will continue to grow and love better and become closer to the representation of Jesus I desire to be which is the ultimate goal. Part of that journey is the blessing that God gave to me in Talia for which I will be forever grateful! 

​Till I See You... 
​

I have found my new trail! Nice scenery, flat and paved, not too buggy despite being next to the Thornapple River. Looks like it hooks up with other trails and you can go on it through many states. I know I went to Paul Henry's office in DC but can't remember if I met him? I will have to check with my friend Ken who was with me. 

I did it two days in a row. First time walking second biking which I haven't done in a long time. I've never had a pair of ear buds and one of my dear friends got me a pair for my birthday and it was so nice to be on the bike listening to Fred Hammond! 

We've been through this before with the wildfire smoke, but the air quality level is setting records on how bad it is. Everything is cancelling. I don't know what the numbers mean the higher the worse off you are. I guess the last time this happened we got into the 200's which was bad. This time it was in the 600's. Ironically the area code in Grand Rapids is 616 and the number I saw was 616. 

Fun night hearing Harry Connick Jr and band once I got there. My 3 1/2 hr drive ended up 5 1/2 hours. I shut my car off on 94. It was like 100 or something! Couldn’t get the pizza I wanted.
It was great to see Neal and Nathaniel!
I met Neal through Wess Anderson when he played at Dizzy’s with Tain and Marc Cary. Wess and I, loved one of Neal’s tunes called Corporate Jazz! I was blessed to be able to record it with Neal for my second cd Jubilee! Truly an honor for me and was great to hear him again with Harry!
I met Nathaniel when he was in HS and have been a fan since! He sounded great as always and it’s so fun to watch his continued development which already was at a high level! He has always been very kind to me and am so happy to see all the great things that have come and will continue to come his way! He is playing a prestigious lead trumpet chair with Harry! He will be a senior at Julliard next year!
Concert was great and a worship session broke out when Harry did How Great Thou Art!
I first met Harry in 1988 and he was 20 years old! He was opening for comedian Steven Wright. I’m looking forward to his new book and music coming out which is a touching tribute to his Mom who he lost when Harry was 13 years old!
I won’t be home until well after 3 am but well worth it! Also, this wildfire smoke is no joke already! visibility starting to get bad and I’m already coughing!

It was an interesting week for sure! It's been an interesting year for sure! So back to the prayer bench! LOL The first thing is what a difference of view now with foliage. See a lot less of the lake. Top picture if from spring down below was today. 

Sorry, most of this will be very vague. 

Growth most of the time involves some pain and suffering. When you survive typically you are "glad" you made it through although you never would have chosen to go through, and you end up much stronger and healthier! I see that happening to me but I can be a slow learner! LOL

The non painful growth for me this year, was binge watching 60 episodes of a podcast I've talked about called when heaven meets earth. Every episode featured someone who basically is living a spirit filled life, have gone through tragedy and come out stronger, etc.. Everyone of them is someone I aspire to be more like. Well, to get to be more like them, I have to shed some of my nature to allow Holy Spirit to fill that void. While I desire this, going through some situations revealed some dysfunction that has been a part of me for a long time and it requires brokenness and a renewing of my mind to get to where I want to be. It kind of wasn't my fault but I never knew I dealt with it, until it was revealed to me by God. 

So that is happening for me which has not been fun. However, I can see the new me evolving. And like I said I'm leaving out most the details. 

One of the situations I found myself in, ended up very painfully, and I have been working through it. However, this past week, a very random message from a very kind individual, brought me healing and closure on that particular situation and I can't even explain why, but it was lifted fully from me. It kind of has been happening in stages but whatever was left, is no longer and it's gone. It's been so freeing, and in reality, the message I received actually should have made things worse. So thank you God and thank you to the individual who reached out!

In addition to that, God was kind of saying to me, ok, let's give the new you a little test run to see what you have learned. What I learned is I'm not there yet! LOL Although I saw progress in things, I have a ways to go. I'm very blessed the individual that was part of my test run, was very kind, loving, and patient with me! Thank you and thank you Lord. 

I kind of hope nobody reads this because this is more of a diary entry than anything and for some reason I'm sharing it! LOL welcome to 2026! 

I know life is hard! I know God is good. I know things are dark out there. I know our light shines brighter in the dark. I'm thankful that in life, music, and relationship both with people and with God, we grow if we work at it and don't stay stagnant! 

I will continue to try and love people and God better. Thankful for the good times, thankful for the struggles, I'm pretty weary at this point but am thankful for the little victories and still standing barely lol! Thankful God is close to the brokenhearted and everyone actually, that chooses to let Him love on you! 

Have a great week everyone. 
Love, Blessings, and Swing!

​Podcast Link: 
https://www.youtube.com/@HeavenEarthShow

Some pictures from my walk today

It was good to see and play with some friends. The irony my brother in love was playing 2 miles from my house. LOL He said he felt guilty! It was pretty loud so for the first time since I've had my new mouthpiece, I had to play my Faddis Mouthpiece and it saved me! One of my favorite songs and most demanding songs in the set each time is September. I usually can get through it pretty well, but I wasn't going to make it this night. Too many demanding songs before it, so I made the switch and it came out great. Sometimes I tape myself and usually I'm playing so sad I just delete it but I wish I would have taped that one! LOL 

I had a nice time with my sister Michelle going Kayaking in her back yard! LOL It started on  the way there with what looked like a tornado but it never moved, there was no wind and was stationary so has to be some kind of a weird cloud thing. It was not over the water. I could have done without the red winged black birds that I hate but they actually behaved. It was more the biting horse fly things that would let me alone. Got to see the Bald Eagles which was fun. Then the worst part of the night. The sunset was epic. So I was trying to get to Lake Michigan and made one wrong turn and could never get back in time. I just kept seeing it in my rear view mirror. I know there will be more but this was a pretty good one. So this was in a parking lot and on the road but looks nothing like what I was seeing!  Anyways, it was nice to spend time with my Sister and was thankful for her love and encouragement to me! 

Usually when I go to see Heidi Baker I have to travel quite a distance to some conference. Most the time she lives in Mozambique  with her husband Rolland. They started Iris Global Ministries. 

Their stories are unreal and are such inspirations to me. 

This was at a catholic conference and I'm not catholic so. I was a little bit of a fish out of water but everyone was very nice. 

This came at an interesting time for me. First I received a message right before she started that I didn't read but has affected my whole week. 

I'm being a little vague on a bunch of stuff because it's personal but kind of related to being with Heidi. I am a very reserved person. I never want to be the center of attention and hope I never get noticed in public. LOL ( I picked a wrong profession as a musician but I can hide behind my drums or trumpet! LOl) So I recently had an experience that I was dreading the whole day because it was really really going to take me out of my comfort zone and it actually was my choice. It ended up being one of the best days of my life then kind of wasn't lol but what I think it taught me was to be more bold about my faith and take me out of my comfort zone. 

I say all this because most of the conferences I go to now are pretty charismatic and I guess you would say a lot of manifestations of the Spirit. I'm comfortable being in that environment but uncomfortable participating even though I try to join in some things. I believe Heidi was once reserved but no more! LOL She even told a joke that her husband says can't you just tone it down a little once in awhile! LOL 

The biggest them for me right now and has been but kind of on steroids at the moment is about trust. The Bakers have never asked for a dime in all the years of being in Africa and they still are there. They have healings. They have such an impact on a nation and are constantly in the face of one of the most evil organizations in history Al - Qaeda. The stories I've heard you can't even dream of the evil that is happening and that is there home. 

They are amazing and there are a few documentaries but I'll just include a little info here but it was nice to hear her in my home city! 
​

I was able to get out to do a little hike in Muskegon and thankful for my little spot around me to spend with God! 

Had a very low key 4th. Had Elijah over and grilled and then talked him into a couple of duets which I shouldn't have because I didn't practice anything and chops felt horrible. LOL Anyways happy 250 America! 

One of the bi-polar aspects of what I went through with Talia and recently my Dad, is on one side you have such sorrow from your loss, but on the other side you have such overwhelming support and love it really has your emotions quite torn! 

When Talia transitioned to Heaven, number one, like yesterday's post, hundreds of people reached out and let me know whatever I needed I had and they were there for me. That transpired in many ways including financial to where I went to pay for Talia's hospice stay and I was told, " You are a loved person! It's all taken care of and anonymous people have covered the bill" I did not, do not, and will most likely not ever receive very well, and despite my efforts and begging to let me know, they stood their ground and did not reveal. The little I know is it was a bunch of people. It's super humbling to receive and I always want to be on the giving side of the equation but I guess it reflects God's grace and gift of His son to us. We can't earn it! God is love ! That is why I start each day with communion, something I learned from Beni Johnson, who coincidentally passed about a month after Talia. I never want to forget the price that was paid for me!

In my previous post, I'm actually doing pretty good with my emotions and heart with the loss of Talia and Dad. (some other things, still working out with the heart) . God has shown me so much through these losses and is continuing with his refining fire on my heart which have included many tests even in the last 12 and 2 hours! 

So I started yesterday with picking up my car that had some work done, then had breakfast with my dear brother Mike Hamann. Mike, Tonya, and Mike's Mom have shown me so much love, I will feel guilty the rest of my life! Just amazing people in my life. I then went home for a bit, and then was invited out by Keith to join the staff for dinner which was also so kind. I had amazing fellowship and felt so encouraged. 

Recently I have discovered walking in my hood and have liked it because I don't have to drive somewhere first. (one sad note, my neighbor passed away 2 days ago). Anyways, I love to take my God walks while looking at His creation and with the Lake right there, it's pretty fun and I've been enjoying the summer flowers that are finally blooming everywhere! So I decided on this 9 year anniversary to just kind of process the day, thanking God for Talia and the short time we had together, taking in the lake and sunset and flowers and thanking God for making me the most loved person on the planet for some reason. I did look at every single like, love, care, and comment on Facebook. Thank you so much everyone! Meant the world to me! 

So after sitting at the lake for a minute, I start walking home. Then this is where the evil one derailed me for a minute. A car pulls up and stops on the opposite side of the road and yells out the window to me, why are you taking pictures of my house? I was like I have no idea where you live, I have not taken any pictures of any houses. He says, my buddy just called me and said you were taking pictures of my house. Now the only thing I can think of at this point is I took a picture of a street sign to send to a person that had significance to a conversation we had at dinner. I should also mention that he is recording me on his phone this whole time which I think was the thing that made me most angry. I was both mad and sad at the same time. I could see he wasn't going to let up and his wife was in the passenger seat also. I said I don't need to do this but I'm not going to go over and get myself killed and stand in the middle of the street but I'll show you my pictures on my phone, so he gets out, comes over and goes through the pictures. I told him I was taking pictures of the lake, sunset, and flowers, and the street sign, and that is what he found. He says, you can't be too safe these days and said to have a good day, and I walked away shaking my head. 

there is a million things I wish I would have said in hindsight but I felt violated for whatever reason. To say the least, I will not be walking anymore in my hood and also won't be going to shoot hoops at the little basketball court I found which I was looking forward to. It's just a little warm to do that past couple of days. 

With what I'm learning now, I wish I would have prayed with him. I think it would have helped him as much as it would have me. I was just trying to have time with God thanking Him for Talia and taking in His beautiful creation. What I have to realize is no matter what happened in that moment and how he treated me, he is actually God's beautiful creation too. God recently has already shown me how to see people through his eyes. I did end up praying for him the rest of the way home, but was still a bit emotional to do me any good. So I'm still learning! 

Anyways, I thought to combat the negativeness of the ending of the day I would post a couple of random videos I love. The first one of these two kids at the piano. Such an absolute obvious example of the joy of music. The second one, in as many times as I have watched this video, I have never made it through without crying! Just so inspiring and if I was ever blessed to be a dad, this is exactly how I would want to be. Man, and her reactions after. Absolutely melts my heart! Such a picture of how God is with all of us! 

Y'all I love ya. Thank you for the comments. I post not for likes and attention. I actually hate the attention. I do it to honor Talia who was so special. Sometimes I think an angel. Heck, she married me! LOL Thank you from the bottom of my heart! 

July 1 would have been 9 years for us. There are for sure elements that I of course get sad about. She was my best friend. More than anything, I miss that. I loved coming home every day. I'm not sure she loved me coming home everyday lol! I was gone enough however that she could have her alone time she needed from even sweet little me! LOL 

I was telling a friend, that I actually think I did the grieving process pretty healthily. I didn't stay in depression but I also didn't suppress all my grief. Believe me! I cried every day for a year. I didn't even know why I was crying and couldn't believe there were any more tears to flow. 

I just had something happen the other day that she would have been the first person I told and it felt so weird not to continue the story with her on that situation. 

Of course I miss all that and her. Even when I'd get mad she would make me laugh! 

With all that being said, I did so much reading that next year after she took her heaven portal. One of those things is I went into a deep dive about Heaven. There is actually a lot talked about in the Bible and I also watched a lot of NDE videos. The commonalities of stories from around the world are way too coincidental! Of course selfishly I would still want her here but when I think about where she is and just how sweet but also sensitive she was, she is where she is supposed to be. 

She left me with an example to learn from and I am. I have learned so much because of her passing. Again, what the evil one meant for bad, God has turned to good. I am not even close to the same person I was when she was here and God is still in the refining process with me big time! 

The fact that I know I will "see" her again is such a loving comfort from God to me. 
I am just left with gratitude much more than sorrow despite really missing her! 

2 videos 
First most of you have seen as I've posted many times. Gods gift to me with this song and how he orchestrated it to all come about. The second one I have just found. I love the tune and the words. The comfort I find is in knowing where she is and I have let go of a lot. There will always be a spot in my heart for her but my mind is settled for which I'm thankful. God is good. 
​

I went way back with this one. Used to sing in church when I was a kid. Not like this! LOL I always say I play drums and trumpet at the same time for cheap applause. LOL As you can see here, I'm not even really doing it. There are times there is no ride cymbal pattern and when there is, it's not in any type of groove. When I do this, it's funny that I find myself eventuating myself while doing it. Like my mind can't think of  playing a fill and something on my horn. It has to be either or. I also couldn't remember the melody after the solo. LOL I don't think I'll do this too much more unless I practice it. I also hurt my pinky on my right hand trying to hold up the flugelhorn. It's still kind of numb. But it's amusing at best but the message is the same. Thank You Lord for saving my soul! 

Had a gig with the Neil Diamond tribute band in Canadian Lakes. It was good to ride up with my college roommate Mike Michewicz and get caught up. Then there were so many people I knew there which is always fun!  Cool moon when I got home!

It's always a privilege to play music. Was so happy that my friend Tom and his now wife Mary asked me to be a part of their ceremony. I brought along my long time friend Eric who I love dearly who gave me a place to live when I needed it and has been a beloved friend along with his wife Mary for many years. Then I was honored to be asked by my mentor and friend John Shea to play with his trio that evening. I learned I have a lot more to learn. LOL Thank you Jordan! 

I decided to honor Pops on this day by taking my cousin out who my Dad had a special relationship with. I find it funny I took so many pictures of reptiles and amphibians which I hate but I think I was closest in proximity to and would make better pictures. I did come across a bench that had a plaque dedicated to someone I really loved from my church. 

Luckily it's 4 am and I'm really tired after my gig so this will be shorter than I had anticipated. 

Today is the first Fathers Day and Birthday with Dad in Heaven. As I learned with Talia, there are always firsts even now. 

I have been doing alright with Pops' transition to Heaven. I have a few theories. One, I did so much grieving with Talia, I'm grieved out! Two, while never ready, with a parent it's a little more logical I guess for lack of better term. Three, I was so happy to see him stop suffering from the pain all the time. Four, I had done so much studying after Talia's passing on Heaven I'm almost jealous! 

With that being said, yes I miss him. We talked every single day for like the last 3-4 years. I still go to call him especially when I travel as he always wanted me to check in and let him know I made it.  Going through these pictures, we ended up doing a lot of traveling together. When he retired the press asked him what he was going to do. He said the first thing is I hear MI is beautiful in the fall, I'm always on a marching field so I'm going to go do a color tour which me and him did in the UP and it was one of my favorite times traveling with him. 

In High School, Dad obviously was at all my concerts because he was conducting but anything outside of that and most of my professional life he never came to any concerts of mine because he always had his own concerts. The exceptions would be the CMU Jazz Fest because he brought the HS band up. I missed having him at them but understood. When he retired, I remember my first gig after that happened and he was there, and I said, what are you doing here? He said I'm retired now! He was pretty much a mainstay at any public gig I had and of course all the Byron Jazz Concerts. Marc would always have a ticket for him. This last year, I actually went out like I always did after the concert to go greet him because it was hard for him to sit that long because of his various issues which meant even more that he would still come if he could. If he was screaming in pain, he obviously wouldn't and there were a few of those. 

When Talia was dealing with the cancer my dad wanted to come and see her. He was going to lay down in the back of someone's van and make the trip to Lansing. Talia wanted to be prepared for him with questions and her first question was going to be how do you deal with pain?  The meeting never happened because things progressed too quickly if I recall. Even though they could have the discussion now, it's an irrelevant question which I'm so happy about! 

I asked my Dad why he kept going through all the medical stuff and fighting. I told him if I get a hangnail, I'm calling hospice. I'd never do what he did. He said he wanted to see his grandkids grow up.  He was pretty remarkable. He finally gave up the will to fight and it was a very emotional decision for him. He was gone about 12 hours later. I wonder if he still wanted to fight if he'd still be here? It would be an absolutely awful time as hospital visits were starting to be a bi weekly thing. But it also makes me think, had he given up years ago if we would have lost him years ago. 

I also was so moved going through the pictures of how many people loved my Dad and our family. He obviously was a pillar of the community for 40 years but students and parents way past there time with him at school continued to honor him by visits, bringing meals to him, taking him on trips, and of course the Rex's and the lions games. I'm pretty sure they talked every day also or close to it. 

I also think about his Bible Study group he did every Saturday morning at his house. Such commitment and friendship. 

While I miss him and at times do get sad, I mostly am filled with joy. I think one of the greatest days of his life in a weird way, was his celebration of life. First of all he put so much thought into it. He just wanted a couple things from it. He wanted people to know he loved his family and his community and his church but most of all he wanted everyone to know He truly loved God despite all the challenges life threw at him and there were many. 

I love him very much and am so thankful for him but it's almost hard for me to shed any tears not seeing him in pain and knowing he is with his Heavenly Father now and his parents and Talia, and..... I am sad that he missed the birth of Wells Cosby and that he didn't get to see Matthew graduate. He was for sure a proud Papa! 

Happy Heavenly Birthday and Happy Heavenly Fathers Day Dad! 

I've included a couple of media sites including his service. This first one is a podcast my dear friend Keith Hall did with him. 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/real-music-talk-podcast/id1515807120?i=1000539418648

I have had the blessing to have two gigs on Lake Michigan the past two days. Both venues beautiful settings. Camp Blodgett in West Olive and then about an hour and 15 mins south in Shoreham, MI at a persons house. It was hard to concentrate on the music with God's beautiful handiwork on display. 

​Sorry to hear about two passings of individuals in Detroit. First, Rayse Biggs. I only had the pleasure to play with him once but he was very kind to me. I know he had influenced so many trumpet players and the Detroit jazz community is hurting.
Then Matt Lee! We hired Matty as our publicist at MSU Jazz. He drove me nuts at first because I didn’t get him. Lol Then I figured him out and we became friends! He was such a hard worker and I ended up really enjoying working with him!
I will always remember how kind he was to me when Talia passed! I saved his phone message and just listened to it. He had such a good heart and I will miss him!

​Went to see Bro Mike play tonight! Good to see some other friends I haven’t seen in a minute and also nice to see niece and nephew Kelli and Matthew!
I also want to publicly thank Lare and Patty Willams! Towards the beginning of them putting these concerts on in Byron Center, they would hire me every summer. It was something I looked forward to every year. I put a lot of thought into who I would have each year and tunes to play. It’s so important to have an outlet to be able to express one’s craft and they afforded me that opportunity! Thank you so much for all you do!