Luckily it's 4 am and I'm really tired after my gig so this will be shorter than I had anticipated. 

Today is the first Fathers Day and Birthday with Dad in Heaven. As I learned with Talia, there are always firsts even now. 

I have been doing alright with Pops' transition to Heaven. I have a few theories. One, I did so much grieving with Talia, I'm grieved out! Two, while never ready, with a parent it's a little more logical I guess for lack of better term. Three, I was so happy to see him stop suffering from the pain all the time. Four, I had done so much studying after Talia's passing on Heaven I'm almost jealous! 

With that being said, yes I miss him. We talked every single day for like the last 3-4 years. I still go to call him especially when I travel as he always wanted me to check in and let him know I made it.  Going through these pictures, we ended up doing a lot of traveling together. When he retired the press asked him what he was going to do. He said the first thing is I hear MI is beautiful in the fall, I'm always on a marching field so I'm going to go do a color tour which me and him did in the UP and it was one of my favorite times traveling with him. 

In High School, Dad obviously was at all my concerts because he was conducting but anything outside of that and most of my professional life he never came to any concerts of mine because he always had his own concerts. The exceptions would be the CMU Jazz Fest because he brought the HS band up. I missed having him at them but understood. When he retired, I remember my first gig after that happened and he was there, and I said, what are you doing here? He said I'm retired now! He was pretty much a mainstay at any public gig I had and of course all the Byron Jazz Concerts. Marc would always have a ticket for him. This last year, I actually went out like I always did after the concert to go greet him because it was hard for him to sit that long because of his various issues which meant even more that he would still come if he could. If he was screaming in pain, he obviously wouldn't and there were a few of those. 

When Talia was dealing with the cancer my dad wanted to come and see her. He was going to lay down in the back of someone's van and make the trip to Lansing. Talia wanted to be prepared for him with questions and her first question was going to be how do you deal with pain?  The meeting never happened because things progressed too quickly if I recall. Even though they could have the discussion now, it's an irrelevant question which I'm so happy about! 

I asked my Dad why he kept going through all the medical stuff and fighting. I told him if I get a hangnail, I'm calling hospice. I'd never do what he did. He said he wanted to see his grandkids grow up.  He was pretty remarkable. He finally gave up the will to fight and it was a very emotional decision for him. He was gone about 12 hours later. I wonder if he still wanted to fight if he'd still be here? It would be an absolutely awful time as hospital visits were starting to be a bi weekly thing. But it also makes me think, had he given up years ago if we would have lost him years ago. 

I also was so moved going through the pictures of how many people loved my Dad and our family. He obviously was a pillar of the community for 40 years but students and parents way past there time with him at school continued to honor him by visits, bringing meals to him, taking him on trips, and of course the Rex's and the lions games. I'm pretty sure they talked every day also or close to it. 

I also think about his Bible Study group he did every Saturday morning at his house. Such commitment and friendship. 

While I miss him and at times do get sad, I mostly am filled with joy. I think one of the greatest days of his life in a weird way, was his celebration of life. First of all he put so much thought into it. He just wanted a couple things from it. He wanted people to know he loved his family and his community and his church but most of all he wanted everyone to know He truly loved God despite all the challenges life threw at him and there were many. 

I love him very much and am so thankful for him but it's almost hard for me to shed any tears not seeing him in pain and knowing he is with his Heavenly Father now and his parents and Talia, and..... I am sad that he missed the birth of Wells Cosby and that he didn't get to see Matthew graduate. He was for sure a proud Papa! 

Happy Heavenly Birthday and Happy Heavenly Fathers Day Dad! 

I've included a couple of media sites including his service. This first one is a podcast my dear friend Keith Hall did with him. 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/real-music-talk-podcast/id1515807120?i=1000539418648

I have had the blessing to have two gigs on Lake Michigan the past two days. Both venues beautiful settings. Camp Blodgett in West Olive and then about an hour and 15 mins south in Shoreham, MI at a persons house. It was hard to concentrate on the music with God's beautiful handiwork on display. 

​Sorry to hear about two passings of individuals in Detroit. First, Rayse Biggs. I only had the pleasure to play with him once but he was very kind to me. I know he had influenced so many trumpet players and the Detroit jazz community is hurting.
Then Matt Lee! We hired Matty as our publicist at MSU Jazz. He drove me nuts at first because I didn’t get him. Lol Then I figured him out and we became friends! He was such a hard worker and I ended up really enjoying working with him!
I will always remember how kind he was to me when Talia passed! I saved his phone message and just listened to it. He had such a good heart and I will miss him!

​Went to see Bro Mike play tonight! Good to see some other friends I haven’t seen in a minute and also nice to see niece and nephew Kelli and Matthew!
I also want to publicly thank Lare and Patty Willams! Towards the beginning of them putting these concerts on in Byron Center, they would hire me every summer. It was something I looked forward to every year. I put a lot of thought into who I would have each year and tunes to play. It’s so important to have an outlet to be able to express one’s craft and they afforded me that opportunity! Thank you so much for all you do! 

I went to Chicago again this time to hear Elijah. He was attending a prestigious program at Ravinia. Only 15 people chosen for this. Each member brought in a piece and everyone rehearsed and tweeked it all week then the final concert. The mentors were incredible jazz musicians Steve Wilson, John Clayton, and Billy Childs. So proud of Elijah and he played incredible. Everyone was so nice also, from the kids, and mentors and donors and the CEO was super nice! fun night! 

I played a quick little concert for the kids at a summer camp at St. Cecilia. Great to play with Doc, Robin, Joe, and Gary! 

My usual walking trail has been a little too rough on my knees and hips as of late so I have found a good place to practice, read, and pray. Not much hiking around there. We've had some pretty good storms as of late one which I knew was a tornado and it was I guess. 

I've been pretty prolific in years past writing about my late wife. Nothing has changed and actually based upon recent experiences, it has only reinforced what I already knew. Talia was the sweetest person I've ever met and I will be forever grateful for the short time God blessed my life with her as my wife. It was an honor to be her husband and I looked forward to coming home to her every day. She loved me unconditionally like God. As I went through pictures and videos, I did a lot of laughing. One of which I have included here. 

One change in the last year is when I go to the cemetery I now pay respects to Dad also. For me, the cemetery is in interesting place. Because, I know the person is no longer there in spirit, I do not talk to them. I talk to God. I want to do like I see in the movies, where you talk to your loved one like they are there. I don't find anything wrong with that and I actually think it may help me, but for me personally, I want to operate out of what I believe is truth and not just try and feel better. So I see these spots as holy ground. Talia was into sci-fi and her favorite show was Stargate where a guy goes into a portal to some point in time each week. I read a book where they said the burial plot was her heaven portal so it fit perfect for me with Talia so I call it Talia's Heaven portal. I go and thank God for now both Talia and my Dad. The brick is at the hospice in Lansing. 

I took some screenshots of what my sisters posted about Talia upon her passing and also something that was in one of Talia's journals:

When I think of Talia in Heaven, knowing how sensitive she was and seeing the world climate like it is, I am so happy she has not had to endure any more of this worlds sinful ways. So grateful. For me, I was told my mind would catch up to the reality of loosing Talia, but my heart probably never will and I have found that to be true. It has been a long season of loss both with loss of other loved ones like my Dad, people I called Moms, friends, etc.. but also loss in other areas too that have been very tough for me to navigate. 

With that being said,  I'm in an interesting season in my life for which I'm learning what it means to  trust God. Talia's passing set me on a course to really know more not only about heaven but the spiritual world. (our battle is not against flesh and blood). 

In John, Jesus lets us know that for those of us that accept Jesus's death and resurrection, we have the same Spirit He had living in us! I have some amazing examples before me that live lives truly led by Holy Spirit. I'm working on trying to live that kind of life with the rest of my days on this planet which in return all equals loving the people God has graciously put in my life, better, not in my strength but through Holy Spirit! 

While that all sounds sweet and nice, it's a painful process coming to the end of myself so I can be filled with Holy Spirit. All of this initiated I think in part to the losses I have faced. 

I'm still learning so much from Talia's example. In addition to being so sweet, she also had childlike faith. There was an innocence about her just like children just like Jesus talked about. Be like the children. Not in an immature way, but a baby is totally dependent on the parents so it should be with us and Abba Father! Talia had that. I had a lot of mind knowledge and didn't apply it very well. She would say aren't you the one that told me this? Well, pray about it! LOL 

I'm rambling but bottom line is I'm so thankful for Talia. I know what I had. I pray God may bless me again, but if not, I'm thankful for the short time He gave me to experience such an amazing wife. I'll leave with a few of her posts about our life together including the last few years with Mia. God sure used Mia! The only cat I know that has made two obituaries. LOL 

Also one of the blessings and really a couple of miracles came with it, was the song God let me do in tribute to Talia which I've included again. I also included another one I did that I dedicated to my Mom when she passed but I like to think of Talia in such peace and joy in Heaven. 

Thank you Lord for the gift that was Talia! 

We had a little get together for the June birthdays for Rowan and Elijah. I got to hold Wells for quite awhile which was super fun. He liked when I was doing drum stockings on the table and tried to join in! Beautiful day with the fam that could make it. 

I don't have too many gigs actually this year with BWK. I like playing here at the Greencrest Manor. My friend Jenifer owns it and it literally is in the middle of nowhere. I remember the first time I played here I looked to my left and it was a field and to my right was woods and I was like oh boy, I put in the wrong address or something and I'm going to be late to my gig, but in fact was it. Such a cool place. I love being in the country away from lights so I can see the stars. Problem is I really have to keep my eyes on the road for all the animals driving home but it's hard on a night like tonight with a clear sky. Immediately I noticed two bright lights pretty low on the horizon. I just figured they were airplanes but they were not moving. Turns out they were Jupiter and Venus I believe. 

I didn't have any time to fellowship with the fam this time but it allowed me to get some miles in walking even though it was raining for part. The concert was amazing as always. 

(the one picture of both trumpet sections not mine) 

As I was sitting in a park, I hear "Max" and it happened to be a saxophone player that went to WMU but is now living in Chicago and just somehow knew me! LOL It was nice to meet Ben and we had a nice chat! This actually happens to me all over the place! 

I was super tired so I was going to stay and see my friend Melissa Aldana at the Showcase but because the the CSO concert was in the afternoon, I decided to get home at a decent hour instead and not stay which I was bummed about. I did get hung up at a toll booth for 25 mins because they were very messed up! All in all a fun day! 

God has blessed me with so many beautiful people in my life from all of my different associations. I don't get to see Brother Craig as much as I'd like but whenever we meet, we challenge each other, we are vulnerable with each other and I know I leave more encouraged than when I walked in. He is a true blessing to me! 

After that, I drove to Lansing to give a trumpet lesson to someone I met when I was clinicing at the jazz festival in Hastings. Stopped at a few of the old stompin' grounds and brought some goodies to the hospice for the staff. 

Later in the day drove out to Spring Lake and Grand Haven to see brother Mike and nephew Matthew play. Of course I had to stop to see the Bald Eagles first! It was also Matthew's girlfriend McKenzie's birthday. Mike invited me to play which was nice. 

​The next day I had the privilege to hang with the great Dwight Adams in Grand Rapids, with my friend Jacob Hoskins! 

I started the day going to Bethel which I guess I consider my home church. This was the first time I've visited in person to a service. It was so nice that Kris Vallotton came around and met people before the service. As big of a church as it is, it gave it a small church feel. After, I was happy to be able to go to In n out which I always try to do when I go out West. Then I started to make my way south. Hit a pretty bad accident and was sidelined for 1/2 hour. 

My first stop was to see my 2nd trumpet teacher (first was my dad) I was like in 7th grade when I studied with Mr. Olsen. I only studied one year because he became the principal trumpet in the Singapore Symphony. It was great to see him and so thankful for everyone's investment in my development as a trumpet player! 

From there I headed to Oakland to see my good friend Mr. Kenny Washington. Kenny is one of my favorite vocalists on the planet. Kenny is Incredibly soulful and it was so nice to fellowship with him. All the flowers are from peoples front yards on the street the restaurant was on. So Cool! Then it was time to head to the SF airport. 

My connecting flight went through Minneapolis to GR and they overbooked the flight so I volunteered to take the next flight and basically was able to pay for the whole vacation with the money in gift cards I received. So again thank you Lord!

All in all it was a great time needed away from what has been a challenging few months. I felt a little rejuvenated and am growing spiritually!   

Beautiful drive back to Redding. I stayed way ahead of schedule so I was actually able to go to Castle Crags which I missed because of the rain on Friday. So God was looking out for me. It is an hour from Redding and I had to go right past it to go all my other places. Once I got there, I realized I had been there and said the first time, I'm glad I did it once but no need to return. Well, I had the same feeling this time. LOL There are a couple of cool views but no need to have returned and the last mile up the mountain is a one way rd with two way traffic and no where to pull to the side because you are on a wining narrow mountain. Both times I have not encountered oncoming traffic but I have no idea what I'd do if I did. Great day with God and sensed Him with me the whole day! 

Hard to believe I almost skipped this. All week it had been snow flurries here as I was monitoring. The northern entrance was closed and it was going to be a high of 45 degrees. I was going to  go another route and head west to Redwoods National Park. Which I've kind of done but have not hiked on the ocean over there. I have been here at least 3 times but the last again was filled with smoke. I was really taken back by the beauty here today. It was different. Maybe God let me see it differently today but again as you can see I was trying to capture about every 5 steps because it did actually look different even though you can't tell from the pictures. I just left saying thank you and incredible God!  Sorry about the swear word from the people next to me. urr... ruining my video! LOL 

It had been a while since I had visited Watson Falls. It was a kind of steep climb up and it was pretty muddy but no problem. You hear the sound like any waterfall before you ever see it, but when you get the visual with the audio it's really quite something. God's creativity is really something. No two fingerprints are the same. Every sunset is different and every waterfall unique. I have to admit one of the reasons I love nature so much is it points to God! No question. Man couldn't do anything like what you see. It is easy to worship in this context for me. Another Godwink, as I planned everything as talked about, one thing on my list was to see Mt. Thielsen, but when I stopped where I was supposed to stop it was all under clouds and I couldn't see it. So I was bummed I wasn't going to be able to see it. Well, as I was on my way to Crater Lake, I turned on a street and there is a sign that says Mt. Theilsen viewpoint. I look back and there it is. So I pull over and as you can see the clouds were no longer covering it. Nothing big but again, like so many things on this trip, I felt God blessing me as I was spending time with Him. I pulled over one more time to see if I could see the river flowing and followed a little path and was able to see the river. What I didn't notice until now just posting these pictures, was it actually looks like a cross in the river. it was definitely that kind of a trip! 

I had been to all the spots I was visiting previously, but was still excited to revisit them. Plus, the last time I visited was during the forest fires which you can see some of the results of them. Matter of fact, last time at Toketee Falls, I took in so much smoke I got sick to my stomach, everything was very hazy, and when I left, they closed the road, but a service guy told me the fire crossed the road to the right but go left and just go around the barricades. 

I've been struggling on my hikes back home with my hips, knees, and feet and was pretty concerned about my hikes here, but God really got me through and the my weight loss helped out  because I wasn't out of breath like the last time I was here. With all of these pictures, it is the o'l  saying, they do not even come close to what you see live in person. 

I was honored to be invited to attend the wedding of Jason and Tania Cosby! The past few weddings I've attended, God was front and center and this one followed suit! Jason had waited a long time to find his wife and the o'l saying good things come to those that wait was so true! The ceremony was so transparent of their love for each other and for God. To model serving one another, they followed Jesus's example of washing the disciples feet. Very moving. Their vows were so touching , and Jason knowing he wasn't just marrying Tania, he also made a vow to her daughter.  It was a beautiful setting, for a beautiful couple! It was truly an incredible worship service! 

Now, I am pretty much an introvert. I'm not a fan of groups but  love the one on one. So receptions can be challenging to me. For a minute I was sitting with family but they got moved and I was left with 5 ladies. LOL They couldn't have been nicer. All attended Bethel, and one lady spoke a word over me which I received. The food was amazing and they played Louis Armstrong 3 times! I

God was teaching me a lot! Some of it confusing but I know He is at work in my life and learning about trust. I did have a God wink that I have to keep to myself and kind of confused me but I think I"m understanding a little more. LOL It was truly an amazing night and inspirational to me and I'm so happy for Jason and Tania! 

After the wedding I wanted to just pray about everything so took a little walk back at the bridge. I looked like a dork in my suit but I'm used to that! LOL 

So this trip has had many, what I stole from someone, called God Winks. Could come in a few ways but the bottom line, is something that God does for you that is so obviously God or answering specific prayers. This is a little deeper then I was intending to go but I have been convicted that even the most mundane decision should be brought to Holy Spirit for guidance because you never know how He will use you. 

So the first God wink was I really wanted to go to this breakfast spot that I went to last time but didn't know the name of it. I knew it would pop out at me when I searched for it and it didn't come up at first so I was going to go somewhere else then somehow I saw it and said that's it. Trendys! I remembered the food was so good but I also remembered the people were so nice and all of that was the case again. 

So then the plan was to go on a hike to Castle Crags. It was about an hour from where I was, I would have enough time to do the hike get back and get ready for the wedding. However, as I was driving there the mist was turning to rain and the forecast was not letting up, so I decided to not do it and turn around and just do a hike at the bridge downtown Redding. This was a sidetrack post I made on Facebook: 

There are so many aspects of my life that are polar opposites! Anyone that knows me knows I am an extreme planner. It is one of the reasons I’ve gotten the jobs I’ve had in my life! I love organization! It’s one of the few things I say I’m good at! So like always, hours of research and planning went into this short trip. However weather has not been cooperating. The other side of my life is made improvising! Living in the moment not planning anything! I’m thankful for both. So today’s plans didn’t work out but because I canceled my hike today, I was able to spend it fellowshipping with family!

So that's what happened, but to fill in some of the blanks, last time I came down here was with my Dad. It was about 100 degrees and there was no way he was walking on the glass bridge. So we saw it and headed on. So it was fun to explore the bridge and nice walking paths they have along the river. In the midst of my walk, Michelle Wells called and said people were coming down and did I want to meet them, so I said sure and it was misting pretty good yet so just hung in my car until they arrived. I had some friends birthday greetings I needed to send and also buy some tickets for concerts that went on sale that day. 

We had a good time and it was nice hanging with family and went back to their airbnb for lunch then went to the wedding which will be my next post. 

Another funny thing is anyone that knows me knows birds do not like me despite me liking them. At this point I already have 3 bird stories. The first was that picture I posted from the previous day and that bird was not afraid of me at all. The second you'll see in these pictures there are hundreds of these birds living at the top of that bridge part all flying around and dive bombing. It was very loud. The 3rd bird story is at my airbnb, there is a gate on the side of the garage that goes back to my guesthouse. Well a bird has made it's nest under the overhang of the garage and whenever I come in the gate it swoops down and as I ducked one time my head hit the little nail thing that latches to the gate and cut my head. Lovely as I'm about to go to a wedding! 

I do have a follow up to the missed hike however. LOL 

I was kind of bummed I missed it but all was good. What ended up happening however, was on Sat (I'm writing everything now in hindsight) I was way far ahead of my projected time schedule which for me means I can cram more stuff in, lol, so I had enough time to fit Castle Crags in!!! Yay! However that update will come in two blogs from now. I'll just say I'm a dufas! LOL 

Well after about 3 hours of sleep, I left the house at 3:15 and headed to the GR airport which was nice instead of driving to Detroit this time. I watched a beautiful sunrise from GR to Det. On my connecting flight from Det. to SF I had no window. I was not to happy. I always choose window seats and love to look out and take pictures because I don't sleep. I wasn't too happy that I couldn't switch to an open window seat and I went to open the window about 100 times but there wasn't one. So that was a little bit of a bummer because we were flying over the rockies and maybe Yosemite, I survived. There was also a problem with someone's paperwork so despite going to leave early we left late and lost our place in line. 

I got my car and headed north. I was going to check into my airbnb in Redding, but because of time I headed straight to Burney Falls. For obvious reasons I love Burney and have been here and all the places multiple times but you never get tired of watching God's amazing creation. Last time I came here it was during the wildfires as the rest of the places I visited. You will see some of the destruction in future posts. The time before that I came with my Dad so I did not do much exploring but this time it was fun to do a little hike around. Such beautiful country! It was kind of a cooler grey day with bits of sunshine and did end up raining at night and parts of the drive. I do love colors which means I love flowers. I absolutely love that for miles there are all these flowering bushes in the median of the highway. Really makes for a much more enjoyable drive although there is so much stimulation to look at with all the mountains too! 

Burney is about an hour from Redding so I headed back to check in. A lot of this trip I did not have cell service and while feeling a little antsy it was actually kind of nice. When I got cell service, Jason had left a message that I could come hang with people to get some pizza and seeing as I had not eaten at all that day except at 4am I took him up on it. Jason getting married was the reason for going out to CA. That will be the next post! 

Congratulations to my nephew Matthew who graduated from Spring Lake HS. Very proud of him. Love you Matthew!

I was blessed to see Mr. Rollins 3 times. I remember when I got his autograph, he could not be nicer. He took time to get to know me before he signed the autography which was amazing. Sonny was 95. A true giant in jazz!