Happy Heavenly 48th Birthday Talia

If it seems like I've been posting a lot lately about Talia, I have! The anniversaries of the big 3 events all happen within a little over a month of each other. 

Her promotion to Heaven happened on June 10
Our Anniversary was July 1
and her birthday is today! July 23

I don't post for attention or sympathy. I don't like either! LOL  I just post to honor her.

I wanted to just post a couple of short antidotes that I think I have posted before but speak so clearly to her beautiful heart. I will never meet anyone as sweet as Talia, probably to a fault. God knew I needed sweet and that's exactly what I got. 

One little inside tidbit comes from the end of her life. From Day 1 of the cancer journey, she embraced it with such maturity, dignity, bravery, and really wanted to try and do things "right" if you will. Her mindset was amazing. I would do nothing medically in Lansing, because I had horrible experiences and the reputation was so awful. So we traveled an hour each time she needed something done to Grand Rapids, which included her chemo treatments every week. I introduced Talia to one of my all time favorite albums by Fred Hammond, "Free to Worship" . Talia would always say, throughout the journey that so many other people had it worse than her. One of her favorite songs on the album was "I won't complain",  so she wanted to listen to that each week on the way to chemo to put her in a good mindset. That is why I recorded a snippet of it on my tribute album to her. But it speaks to her attitude and beautiful heart and spirit. 
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Here are the words: 
There's a praise that lives deep in my heart, And it says, 'Oh, Lord, I love You'
I am blessed when I think of Your goodness to me, It comforts me daily
But there are times in my life, When things don't work out right
And my burdens are heavy, And there's no joy inside
Put my eyes back on You, For You've always come through
And with this simple refrain, I will bless you, bless you, come

Lord You've been good to me, Made the way I could not see
Your love came in and lifted me, And I, I won't complain
Through the years, You've been there to dry my tears
There is not a closer friend than You

Oh, Lord, You have been so good to me, More than this world could ever be
I really wanna thank You, yeah, Lord, I won't complain

Lift my hands, give You praise, In the midst of each storm 'cause You are worthy
When life's sorrows and heartaches rush in, I will remember, You are still worthy

Let the words of my mouth leave no room for doubt
Because down through the years You've been faithful
And when I think it all through, oh Lord, it's been You
Who's been there all the time and I'm greatful, greatful

Lord, I know that You know what's best for me, Even when my weary eyes can't see
I really wanna thank You, Lord, I won't complain

Through it all, You've been there for me
Through every trial, every heartache, You've been there
Every tear that I've cried, Lord, You've been there
I'll lift my hands and I'll give You the praise through it all

Down through the years, every step that I'd to take
You've been there every time I've fallen
And You've been there to hold me tight though the grades of time
I'll lift my hands and I'll give You the praise, You've been good
You've been good, when I think of all You've done
It makes me wanna shout for joy and give You glory
There is no one like You, You've been so good, yeah
I'll lift my hands and I'll give You the praise and say
Thank You, thank You
I won't complain, all I'm gonna say is
Thank You, thank You

One of the pages from the tribute CD:

Another tidbit was Talia loved the group BTS! Of course I had no idea who they were but Talia loved their song "Dynamite" which I also did a little snippet of on the tribute project. I would have got a lot of brownie points if I had recorded that for her while she was here. LOL I asked her why she liked them so much, she said, because she saw an interview with them once and they said they just want their music to make people feel happy. Now to me, that's pretty cliche of any pop star but it almost speaks to Talia's naiveté if you will. 

I was always the one giving advice to Talia how to handle situations when she'd ask. She was always the one putting it into action, then calling me out when I wasn't following my own advice which I needed! LOL 

I added this part since my initial post. I had to include the tv show LOST in here. Talia was very good about trying to come into my world of jazz. I didn't have a very good attitude about coming into her world of Sci-Fi which I felt bad about. So she wanted to watch the tv show lost with me so even though it wasn't my type of thing I learned my lesson and was happy at first to do it! LOL I have to admit the first season was intriguing but as it kept going I kept getting more well... lost.. perfect name for that show. LOL We watched all 9 seasons. I watched the end episode and despite watching it, had no idea how it ended or what happened. LOL I was constantly joking with her that I will never get that time back etc... Again, I asked her why she liked it, and it basically stemmed from the first season, and this was a great point that I learned from also. You watch all these people that were brought together from a plane crash, and instantly start liking and disliking people, but as they would do the flashbacks, you got to see why some people were like they were behaving. So she was just like you see everyone has gone through something and it's not always apparent why they may be mean or something. Again so reflective of Talia's heart. This everyone dealing with something has been so true especially this year for me. Man, my heart just wants people to know how loved they are by God but we deal with so much in life! I'll scream it for both Talia and I! You are loved! Your life matters! God has a plan that the evil one tried to stop! Know you are loved!
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I truly am happy Talia is in Heaven! I did such a deep dive into Heaven once she passed. I wanted to know where she was!  I watched all kind of NDE testimonies, read all kind of books, etc.. While we will never know the full extent, the commonalities of the testimonies are so similar, it's hard not to doubt much of what people have said is true and matches a little from what we know from the Bible. With how dark the world is and has been, which I think affected Talia a bit and just always wanted to combat it with her extreme kindness, Heaven is the perfect place for her. I'm so glad she made Jesus her savior! 

Of course I miss her. For me, it's the obvious things that I knew but not to the extent of  that are huge now. Yes, she was my best friend, but you don't realize what that means until she is gone. So many things I could say about that ! Also, the fact that she chose me as her husband and to love, choose, and commit to me, I'm finding is a very special thing which again I knew, but that fact continues to be reinforced every day to me since she went to Heaven. 

I grieved well! I had a lot of time of introspection and sorrow, but also a lot of fellowship! I was loved so well and continue to be by so many ! I am so blessed. Sure, it's sad that I finally found the one I was planning on spending the rest of my days with and I loved being married to her, but it was cut very short. It can be frustrating with the position I'm in now, but I am a completely different person having gone through this. God has taught me so much. I do wish that she would have been able to be the recipient of some of the more mature me traits, but I think she is doing just fine! LOL

I will continue to grow and love better and become closer to the representation of Jesus I desire to be which is the ultimate goal. Part of that journey is the blessing that God gave to me in Talia for which I will be forever grateful! 

​Till I See You... 
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