Family

Essentially Ellington is always special. It is first, always something earned of which I have very little to do with. It is fulfillment of a dream for Marc and I as when we sat down and dreamed for hours when Marc first got this job, what do we want things to look like this year, in 5 years, in 10 years. One of those was for us to make EE and go play for our heroes. This was the 7th time we made it.

The first one was completely surreal and kind of the next one also. We did it again. Then there were there were 2 years where we didn't get to play at the house of swing, and didn't get to meet other kids, etc... Covid! To me this is where J@LC just went way beyond, they did the best they could with the situation at hand, which was also a big financial burden with no money coming in.

Skip ahead to EE 2022. There is no place I'd rather be then with all my friends at J@LC however, Talia was struggling with her fight with cancer. I made the decision not to go. I hoped there would be more to go to but Talia and her care were more important. We had a hospice nurse who was amazing named Linda. Linda told us that Talia could go into the facility so the caretaker (me) could have a rest. I still was not going to do it however Talia really wanted me to go. I couldn't believe she would agree to do that. Such an act of love on her part. So, I ended up going, very uneasy. They didn't know how I took care of her, they didn't know her, etc... I called about every hour for the first day. She assured me she was doing well, and even likened it to a cruise ship saying she had a personal chef, a person that liked sci-fi, etc.. as the week went on, I was more and more comfortable not calling every hour and was able to enjoy a little bit fellowship with my different families. The time was coming to an end and I was looking forward to being with my wife again and taking care of her. When I called on the way home she was a pretty different person I just say. I did not put two and two together. The next day was so awful. Finally nurse Linda said, the time has come to go to the facility. You've been doing the job of 3 people. So a day later we go right back to hospice. The Dr. came and met me as Talia was getting checked in. He told me his name and first thing he told me was, that is not your wife that was talking to you like that, that was the tumor. The tumor had moved to a new spot of the brain. No longer just motor skill problem but now personality. It all made sense. 

However, coming back to a different person, I could not forgive myself for going to EE. My friend Marc, said he would like to offer a different take on the situation. Maybe, God knew what was lying ahead and this time at EE gave me some emotional re-fueling for what I was about to face. Talia was in hospice I think exactly one month and then transitioned to Heaven. If Marc had not changed the narrative for me, I would never go back to EE and it would hold a very sad place in my heart. 

2023 EE would be emotional for me but all was good but hard. 

A friend I met while in Phoenix earlier this year told me, he believed I would be entering a new season of my life in a good way. I really feel he is right. As I left EE this year, I really felt optimism even in the midst of so much uncertainty in the world. I have to remember God's got me! While I don't know what the future holds for me with most of the "W" words, where, with who, why, when.... I do have a sense that God is working in me and is ordering my steps in each of those areas. My job is to trust Him and His timing. 

EE this year like other years, but even more so this year, was a families reunion. Of course my Byron family, my J@LC family, I was a little sad that some of my kids I'd see from some of the Florida schools have graduated which just meant I'm getting old, and of course so many jazz musician friends, and then also met some new friends. I so badly want to go into detail about each and every person and what they mean to me but I'd never finish. Everyone hold a very special spot in my heart. 

There were some really special moments for me that I think I will keep to myself but I do realize, I'm the most loved person on the planet. I'm blessed beyond what I deserve and am so grateful for all the beautiful people that are in my life, and so many I got to see on this trip. Also, so many of these beautiful people really loved me through Talia's transition and am eternally grateful for their love shown to me. I hope I got to everyone to let them know how much that means to me! 

Terell in his comments to the students I think stole all my sayings and Hammer's too! LOL not really but really talked about family and relationships in jazz. The main point I make in jazz is that you cannot be selfish and perform at a high level. You need to bring excellence to the table so that you can loose the attitude of it being about you, and have it being about us! Very Biblical concept talking about the body is made of many parts. All super important like your hand, but it only will function at the highest level when connected to the rest of the body. 

I had short conversations and super long conversations. Some ended there and some are continuing for which I'm grateful. 

By the way this is only a handful of people I took pictures with. I can think of so many that I saw but didn't do the selfie thing with. Oh, and of course I had to include Hammer talking to "Wynton" who I missed this year! 

I left this years Ellington Festival not knowing what lies ahead like 2022, but coming home this time around, I feel a sense of community and love and a new blessed season in my life. Thank you Lord for all the people I was able to connect with and what lies ahead.